How to talk to kids about gender equality and stereotypes
Tips, tools, and real-life examples to spark age-appropriate conversations at home, in classrooms, and communities.
Before most children can even read, they have already been told that boys are strong, and girls are weak. Whether you are a boy living in Belgium or a girl in Ghana, stereotypes about gender, and what it means to be a boy or a girl, are prevalent around the world.
Research shows that by age three, children begin absorbing stereotypes. By age 10, boys are more likely to see themselves as leaders, while girls internalize limits on their abilities. One study found that 6 in 10 boys said “boys are naturally better than girls at sport” and by age 14, girls are dropping out of sports at twice the rate of boys.
These beliefs influence the choices young people make, their dreams and expectations. Kids pick up cues from family, media, school and society. The toys they play with, the stories they hear, and the gendered roles they see adults perform all influence what they believe is “normal” for boys and girls.
That’s why conversations about gender equality and stereotypes need to start early. But many adults aren’t sure how to begin.
What is gender equality?
Gender equality is the idea that people of all genders – women, men, girls and boys, as well as those with non-binary or trans gender expressions and identities – have equal rights, responsibilities and opportunities. It does not mean that everyone should be the same, but that the rights and dignity of each person are respected equally.
In practice, this means ensuring that women and girls have the same access as men and boys to education, jobs, leadership roles and decision-making. It also means recognizing and fairly sharing unpaid care work – like caring for children or elderly family members – among family members, regardless of their gender.
But today, equality between men and women is not a reality, and it would still take almost 300 years to achieve globally. Gender equality is not just about fairness, it is a fundamental human right, and essential for peaceful, sustainable, and thriving communities.
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As a teacher, Azizah holds a lifelong interest in the welfare and development of youth. East Java, Indonesia, 2022. Photo: UN Women/Satu Bumi Jaya -
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A teenager uses her phone, Thailand, 2022. Photo: UN Women/Gagan Thapa Magar. -
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Yamkela (14) lives in Khayelitsha, where day-to-day life is challenging against poverty, HIV and AIDS and limited social infrastructure. However, she combats it playing with the Grassroot Soccer SKILLZ Street team, an organization that leverages the power of soccer to educate, inspire, and mobilize youth. “It’s built so much confidence in me, because I know what’s ahead for me. I feel proud of myself that I am part of the positive side, the safe side.” South Africa, 2016. Photo: Grassroots Soccer/Karin Schermbrucker -
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A father cooks with his children in Chishinau, Moldova. Photo: UN Women/Rena Effendi -
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Brazilian youth leaders featured in this photograph are part of a UN Women programme on sport as a powerful tool for social transformation and empowerment. Photo: UN Women/Rossana Fraga. -
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A father and daughter hand out laundry together, Tunisia. 2023. Photo: UN Women/Séverine Sajous.
1. Talking about gender equality – don’t shy away from difficult discussions
Now that you’ve got a clear definition, it’s time to talk. Conversations about gender equality, women’s rights, and the barriers that still exist are essential. By talking to children openly and honestly about fairness, justice, and equality, you help them make sense of the world and inspire them to change it for the better.
These conversations don’t have to be formal or scripted, they can happen while reading a book, watching a film, or while doing daily chores and routines. The key is to help children notice and question what they see around them.
Try this:
Choose a children’s book or film to analyze it together. Make sure that it features gender stereotypes. If you chose an old, animated movie, the characters will likely assume traditional gender roles, such as the princess who needs rescuing. Ask:
- Who are the main characters?
- Which ones have passive roles, and who are more active?
- Who is driving the action and the narrative forward?
- What would you change to make it fairer?
For a different take on familiar stories, check out Awake Not Sleeping, a collection of modern fairy tales from around the world. Written by over 100 storytellers, these 28 tales offer new ways to think about courage, kindness, and what boys and girls can become.
2. Watch your words
The words we use – especially with children – can shape how they see themselves and others. Phrases like “boys don’t cry,” “she’s bossy,” or “he throws like a girl” may seem harmless but reinforce limiting beliefs about gender.
That’s why sparking conversations about gender roles early on and challenging these is essential to fostering gender equality.
Use inclusive and empowering language. Praise children for effort, not just looks or physical strength. Use gender-neutral job titles when possible – firefighter instead of fireman, chair instead of chairman.
Try this:
Play a word swap game. Ask:
- What could we say instead of “boys don’t cry”?
- What’s another way to describe a girl who takes charge besides “bossy”?
Make a poster of positive phrases to hang at home or school. For example:
- Swap “bossy” for “confident”
- Swap “man up” for “don’t give up”
- Swap “real men don't cry” for “real strength is showing your feelings”
3. Share household chores among all family members
One of the most powerful ways to teach gender equality is through action. Children notice who does what at home: who cooks, who cleans, who decides. If work is shared fairly, it sends the message that everyone contributes and everyone’s time matters.
Globally, women do around 2.5 times more unpaid care and domestic work than men. This imbalance starts young with girls often expected to help out more than boys. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Sharing chores builds life skills, boosts children's confidence, and respect for others' time and effort. Frame chores not as punishment, but as a way to take care of each other and collaborate.
Try this:
- Make a family task chart and rotate responsibilities weekly.
- Include things like setting the table, putting laundry away, tidying up toys, or reading to a younger sibling.
- Add a reflection at the end of the week: “What was something new you learned to do?”
4. Seek inspiration from real-life role models
Kids learn by example, so show them role models who challenge gender stereotypes and stand for equality. Talk about celebrities and activists who use their platforms to speak up for inclusion, such as Anne Hathaway or Malala Yousafzai, or men who model care and allyship, like John Legend.
Show them what UN Women youth activists are doing around the world: from fighting period poverty in Turkey, to helping young Afghan women get an education.
Finally, walk children through key moments in the history of women’s rights so they can see how bold and brilliant women have shaped the world we live in today.
Try this:
Create a “role model wall” at home or in class. Each week, add someone who challenges gender stereotypes and write a few lines about what inspires them and the issues they care about.
5. Talk about safety and respect online
As children grow up, a big part of their friendships, learning, and play happens online. But digital spaces often mirror the gender stereotypes and inequalities that exist offline. Girls, women, and gender-diverse people often face a higher risk of harassment, bullying, and abuse in digital spaces – especially when they challenge stereotypes.
At the same time, harmful online communities like the manosphere target boys and young men spreading misogynistic content that portrays women as inferior, and frames gender equality as a threat to boys’ success.
These narratives can normalize violence and reinforce negative gender stereotypes. Helping children and teens navigate online spaces with empathy and critical thinking, and having open conversations with them is essential for safety online and offline.
Try this:
Become media detectives together. Pick a few videos or posts that your child likes or that are trending. Ask:
- “What is this person saying about boys, girls, men or women?”
- “Does this message encourage respect, equality and kindness?”
- “Who might benefit from this message – and who might be harmed?”
6. Lift up women and girls in sport
Sport builds strength, confidence, and life-skills, but by age 14, girls are dropping out of sports at twice the rate of boys. For many years girls have struggled to see themselves represented or supported in sporting careers, but the sport ecosystem is rapidly changing. From gymnasts Simone Biles and Aly Raisman redefining what power looks like, to soccer player Marta Vieira da Silva calling for equality for all women and girls, and Jenni Hermoso tackling sexism – women athletes are reshaping the game.
When girls see themselves on the field – and when boys see women as champions – it reshapes what they believe is possible for everyone.
Try this:
- Watch a women’s match together.
- Encourage girls to try a new sport and praise their effort, not just their performance.
- Challenge kids to research and share the story of a woman athlete who changed the game. What barriers did she face and overcome?
Looking for more ideas? Check these resources:
- UN Women: Voices Against Violence Curriculum
- Plan International: Gender Inequity and early childhood development
- HeForShe: Action kit for students
- Women Win: Reframing sport for teenage girls
- European Institute for Gender Equality: Gender-sensitive communication Toolkit